High as fuck, drinking Ballantine’s and hoping to get the penultimate read-through done today so as the final done tomorrow.

Here’s a fun part from the current draft of Jenn’s Movie Night (now out), still subject to correction and change (into the kief at the bottom of the grinder, things are very awesome).

I went into the bedroom and pulled out the lime green carry-on we kept under the bed.

I brought it out and set it on the coffee table in front of Jenn and Amy, clicked it open and raised the lid, like I was showing off something wild.

Dildos, vibrators, buttplugs, strap-ons, ropes, blindfolds, outfits, lubricants, rubber gloves and condoms. It looked excessive, but everything was part of our lives.

“Take your clothes off,” Jenn said, and I got a sound out before Amy put a finger to her lips and my wife went “shhhh” and I remembered the rules and felt like an idiot.

While I got naked Jenn and Amy set about getting baked, and when I was standing there trying to look good they told me sit down between them and gave the joint, told me to smoke it.

They went into the suitcase and through the sex toys, with Amy choosing a great big fuck-off ‘massager’ that plugs into the mains and does the job, and Jenn taking out a vibrating clamshell thing, a short, fat dildo, and some handcuffs I’d never seen before.

At least they left the strap-ons inside.

“You high enough?” she said.

I nodded.

“Good, and good on not talking. Now put your hands behind your back.”

I did, and she put the cuffs on, which wasn’t as bad as you might think, as these were padded, well-made for comfort and strength – the kind of thing you’d arrest a king with.

I ended up sitting naked, hands cuffed behind my back, between two women who were getting high and comparing plans for the holiday weekend.

In all the excitement and anticipation I’d almost forgotten – we were here to watch my wife get fucked on-screen.

Offcuts, excerpts and promotional efforts can be found on Tumblr (no images, but a lot of NSFW text), and details of all current books can be found here.


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